YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This is my gift to your gina
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
