piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
