Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
