I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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