Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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