all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Success! We fucked roommates!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize