My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
