Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
