wrigley field is MILF paradise
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
