Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
