He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
