I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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