im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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