Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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