your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He has the fingertips of a God
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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