I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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