There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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