I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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