goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
