btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
