Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
