dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
