Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
