you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I believe in your delicious
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
