ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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