After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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