It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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