Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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