Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
