..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
