Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
