I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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