she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it glows. i had to have it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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