somebody snuck up and got me drunk
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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