Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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