no. you can't hotbox the world.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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