I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize