We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
