hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he was CRYING into my vagina
where are you?
Hypothermia
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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