we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i love accidental penises.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You may now shotgun with the bride
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
