she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I love how my cats smell like pot.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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