it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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