I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
