Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
