Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize