The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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