She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
