So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
