hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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