I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
