I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
