Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
