I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
