I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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