Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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