I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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