This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
