What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
