Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
