What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
